After disastrous cooperative living, a premature decision to ĺ I’ve a life in an assisted living facility, in òne of the city’s oldest districts, I found where it is I want to grow to love this city–I suppose after a colourful development I wound up rolling in the right direction. Ánd wouldn’t you know it, along the way, I met this beautiful girl who is willing to push me around (I have said that it’s the only way to ťravel). I can say after some trial and error, that I’m done. I just want 4 find a little property that is a good fit for me.
I am reaching out those who read #wakingseconds.com for assistance. The Annual MS Walk is fast approaching (May-25, 2014). And so, I am inclined to reach out using any and all media. #The21stCentury has enhanced the way in which we interact with one another…and we are at the very beginning! More opportunity across a somewhat levelled playing field. Give if you’re able to. The #MSwalk brings #families together. It allows for communities to interact with one another. So:
This is a post for evry boy who grows up helping people when they call you up and say “my computer is acting weird/being “slow”/my computer is broken… Many prefer to not update their systems. Let me tell you–this inaction will work to your detriment. It may just seen like a harmless update, but do not be fooled–ifyou follow the dots, its going to try selling you something. Please save any boy you know the problems which come with clicking this update. It is so very invasive and not to mention terribly frustrating to “clean”. Do yourselves a favor and simply close the browser window.
I wanted to throw some words into the ether. #myms has had this lifetime impact for me. I may only have been dx in April 17, 2007, but I am darn sure it’s been there for much longer.
I slid out with this somewhat unique genetic blueprint. I had ample warning–it’s in my family, after all. All things being equal, I had a backseat ride-along with my Fathers illness. I was able to learn a lot from him. And so it no as no surprise that i was dx’d.
I knew what multiple sclerosis is. I knew how it could impact someone. I knew some of the symptoms. I did a small amount of reading on it. So, when Dr. Patry said “looks love like MS”, I’m no neurologist, but there wad apsychol small bit of sadness upin Dr
Patry’s confirmation of what I already knew.
And so, the psychology behind my dx was more along the lines of vindication.
Thrr is surely a psychology behnd dx, another treatment, a separate one behind surgery…there’s a psychology behind all things…
So I was prepared. The caveat when you diagnosed is this: there isn’t any one person, be they mother or father, sister or brother , neurologist or nurse–they can’t really say what will work for you. Not to say that people will be unable help, but after having gone through it, medical professionals are there to act as”lighthouses” to help you navigate of your illness. I found what is tolerable to my system by looking at both the good and bad things. I just turned my tx into something that resonates with me (based on my development. Things that resonates with me kind of “see past” my stubborn nature. That’s my story. So I suppose the question is “what resonates with you?”
I spent a solid 6 years trying desperately to put my gloves on. MS is a tricky illness. It was as if I was eternally attempting to figure out how my fingers needed to be positioned to get my gloves on. Now I get excited whenever Malissa tosses them on my lap…
I kept my sanity by making it into a game. I find this to be true of everything. I figure it’s as good a means as any to deal. My next big puzzle will be learning how to get my long-ass legs to once again-before Malissa and I flee Quebec for Alberta.
I have a proposition for you, Mr. Stewart. As a Canadian who CHOSES to get his news from a mix of late night television and Google, well I would just bowl over with laughter at simultaneous guests in Justin Bieber and Rob Ford. We have an antiquated practice in Canada, known as CanCon ( http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_content). This is somewhat unnecessary and accomplishes little other than filling the airwaves with subpar music. There are some arguably good rhings about, policies such as this, but to me, its just another useless piece of red tape that is funded by everyone living in “Soviet Canuckustan”, as Mr. Pat Buchanan once put it.
I’m not any different than most others who watch your show, with the exception that I never graduated (or even attended University (just a Canadian doing my best to remain unassuming). But, somewhat remarkably, I got a job for a big American company. And I worked, sir, I worked (my tits off). I was livin’ the dream from 2003 (when I was hired) to 2007, when I was diagnosed with relapsing/remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS).
And so it goes…but boy, would the crack smoking mayor and Justin Bierber ever crack me up as paired guests on The Daily Show!
All things even out, Mr. Stewart. Like most Canadians, I enjoy self-deprecating remarks, mostly because there is often unspoken ascent among Canadians about the hilarity that srems to follow us…
I bought a carafe. This was sort of brought on by my need for cost-effectiveness. Look, fact is, I drink a lot of coffee. I kind of fill my 7-ounce mug anywhere between 4 or 5 times per day. K-Cups are great, but $0.60 / cup for coffee at home is ludicrous. Not wanting to kick my habit, I splurged on a carafe, the same as my grandma has had for certainly longer than I’ve been alive.
This is not recommended and is a sure substance abuse problem. No medical professional would be okay with this. But it had part in the wonderful parcel of remission that i was handed. #bestpresentever. I’ve been drinking coffee since age 14ish. I spent a vast amount of time during my development hanging around Dunkin’ Donuts, much to my Mother’s chagrin, mostly because I had little regard for things such as waking for school and all outward appearances stated that I preferred staying up late rather then, oh, I don’t know, sleep and do homework… So I can’t fault her for (anything) thinking that. Meanwhile, I was developing a tolerance to caffeine.
Yeah, that’s how I roll. What Dr. Lapierre had the same look of misunderstanding on his face as a quiet “that’s a lot” escaped from his lips”. . It took 30 years, but I can now say I like my coffee by the carafe.
This was a message from my buddy, Derek, in response to the question, is that “a rage hoodie? Shouldn’t that be tattered to shreds?”
“Absolutely not, my friend. That sweater has been the centrepiece of my wardrobe since 1999. It saw the turn of the century. I have a strong memory of the bartender asking me where Che was from. I mistakenly replied “Cuba.” I never liked being wrong (it’s Argentina, I then discovered). So a lot of stuff came from a seemingly benign bit of trivia Brett figured he’d throw my way. And so, what do you think I did? I read. I figure if im gonna wear his face so people would pay less attention to mine, i better damn well know everything there is about the dude. So I did. It has been there before my dx. It was with me during my dx. It went through interferon. It was with me for Tysabri. It was there for the chemo. I brought it to Costa Rica and my brain surgery. It kills Malissa that I’m still rolling around in it. ”
I’m going to frame it. But you can be certain of that..
I’ve been mulling over minutiae to figure out how to best share my thoughts. Turns out it was easy. Im kind of a weird dude. My family is tolerant of this. And I suppose weird+#borngeek=weird geek. Took me 30 years to figure that one out. Now I celebrate the geek in me. It is who I am.
Right, valleys. Follow me, for just one, moderately confusing thought. Imagine your brain in all its slimy, fatty, watery glory. Now without complicating my explanation further, imagine that photo as some part of its topography. Let’s use a daily activity–tying your shoes. This “valley” in your mind has likely been a twice daily”visited valley from age 5. You’ve been there. You have done the sightseeing, tabernac. This is a valley in my my mind often visited.
MS changes the landscape, the very topographical structure of the brain. Those valleys are still there. Just like anyone. There is a valley for tying your shoes. There is one for using the washroom, one for dressing yourself, another for meal prep. So think of these valleys, frequently visited, and intimatrly known to me. And then the ground sarts to tremble. Half the valleys flood with debris. The ground shifts.
#myms caused something of a 7 year earthquake. And just like any post disaster recovery, well, I’ve got to work to get those valleys free of debris. Im now focused on the valley in my my mind not visited since 2008 (walking). I’ll be sure to see valleys are shifted only, and not caved in. With fhat in mind, I just full of rubble. The valleys I spent a lifetime developing are intact. I just need to clear the rubble with the aid and assistance of a physical therapist.
So remember that every warm wish, every “I hope yoi get better” was just one more flashlight pointed into this trracherously deep valley in my mind. I crawled put alive. And I am better for it.
Sometimes, the grass is greener on the other side. The Remitting portion of the name of my illness far outweighs the relapsing half.
Grab an elastic band. If it’s not already stretched, lossen ‘er up. Settle in and indulge me, if you will. Let me fill you in on a little secret:
The way #myms now seems is just part of me as an individual. Grab a ream of paper. Now write A, C, G randomly. Repeat 3.5 billiontimes. Though not even at all accurate, this is what makes us. I passed high school mathematics with a 60%, and therefore never took statistics. But somehow, the 3.5 billion characters making up my genome spell MS. And so, it is indeed part of who I am. There’s no mystery, no magic. Remission means I now can re-expirence all that (some would say cool) stuff I’ve been through over the last 7ish years. The cavalcade of. ..people I have met have been a steady, helping hand.
Still have that elastic? Without letting it fly across the room, hook it on your thumb and stretch it out. Notice the harder you pull it, the greater the recoil. I’d say my elastic got pretty stretched over the past 7 years. The cool part about #myms is in this period of remission, I have noticed that my recovery is proceeding proportionately. I just woke up this January and my bladder resumed normal function. My eyesight has cleared. The cognitive dissonance I have been in since April 2008 just sory of went away. There is no trick, and it wasn’t brought on by a big Pharma treatment. It is every person who has wished me well. I have a theory involving resonance and nerves, but so as not to complicate matters, i will hold onto that for the book.
So a heartfelt thank you to everyone. I started this blog by writing about my socks. 7 years later, the socks are an issue no longer. Coming soon will be me standing to pee.