Yes, Ruth, I’m still alive!
Again, some time since my last post. I think I’ve been lacking inspiration. Or I want to write a book, making me wonder why I continue to give it away for free – this is the lousiest of excuses, as anyone who knows me would easily conclude that I have enough to say to ‘simul-blog’ while preparing a manuscript. The #1 reason though, and I can say it with some certainty, is that I’ve been on summer vacation. Like, days of yore summer vacation. It’s been nice. I’ve been enjoying myself. I was able to attend 2 weddings of good friends of mine, friends I have known since I was 13. I’ve caught up with so many people that time invariably separated me from; more reason to see little ‘blips’ of just how good my life is. Despite my MS and its complications, I continue to draw on the strength of those around me. I continue to find enjoyment in simple things. I continue to live my life, everyday.
So what’s new? A precariously dangerous process that happens to so many undergoing a treatment as aggressive as chemotherapy is afoot; serious weight loss. Coupled with the severity of my tremor and the weakness and ataxia in my core muscles, not only am I not eating (well), but meal preparation has become a chore I can no longer perform adequately. I am, of course, working to find a solution to this problem, one that won’t put any undue ‘labour’ in the hands of the people I love – my mother, my grandmother, my brother-in-law, my sisters, et al.
I’ve got to make a phone call on Monday for pre-op screening at the Montreal Neurological Hospital (MNH), per Dr. Sadikot, the neurosurgeon I had met with to discuss “Deep-Brain Stimulation” (DBS). I’m a wee-bit confused, as my understanding of where we left that whole idea was stonewalled – DBS and chemotherapy are kind of like oil and water, and I would need ‘normal’ hematological results, for my leukocytes and erythrocytes to be within a certain range. Still, I will call Monday and get it sorted.
“The Road to You” MS group I have been attending continues to be the most interesting Wednesday I have every month. I’d like to be taking a more active role in the group, and while Tristan, the group’s co-founding member, recognizes my desire to step it up, neither of us have come up with a direction in which to deploy me. I have faith we’ll find something suitable for me.
The interesting thing about regular attendance to the group has been the renewed zeal I have to continue fighting my ‘Everyday Battles’. It’s not nice to see anyone have to struggle with a disease as potentially crippling as MS; it’s a disease that does as much damage psychologically as it does physically. Because it *might* really mess you up. Or not. And it’s being physically crippled that messes with your psyche. This vicious circle funnels downward like water down a drain, but knowing I’m not alone makes for still waters, so to speak. That camaraderie burgeoning amongst the group members is nice to see. I look forward to both continuing to take part and seeing my role within expand.
Weather’s turning – it’s my time to shine! Autumn has always been my favourite time of year. It is remarkably beautiful in both the urban landscape of the city and the unspoiled landscape of the Laurentians.
Enjoy the ‘comfortable’ weather!